


a post-sex bed hair analysis of tsukishima kei's friends, roommates, lovers

by finedae



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Crack, Fluff and Humor, M/M, bkakkr are simping for tsukki, kagetsuki are functional frenemies, oikawa’s here and he’s A Lot, the high school teams but in college! dont worry about it, tsukiyachi are cute friends, tsukki is observant it is a curse and a blessing, yamaguchi is a good boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:14:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27417094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/finedae/pseuds/finedae
Summary: Tsukishima Kei, cursed by years of volleyball training of noticing the slightest change in his opponent, happens to notice his friends, lovers, and roommate's post-sex bed hair and behavioral changes. It's not his fault everyone he knows has really distinctive hair.And an interview with the friends, roommates, lovers about tsukishima kei's bed hair and if he's less of a bitch in the afterglow!
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Akaashi Keiji/Kuroo Tetsurou, Bokuto Koutarou/Tsukishima Kei, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Tsukishima Kei & Yachi Hitoka, Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 9
Kudos: 259
Collections: BokuAkaKuroTsuki Week 2020





	1. the observations

**Author's Note:**

> why did i write this? cause it was really funny to me, personally
> 
> written for day 3 of BokuAkaKuroTsuki Week, college au!

Tsukishima Kei would like to start off by saying he is _not_ a weirdo pervert who eagerly awaits his lovers, roommates, and friends’ post sex hair. Rather, it’s something he notices, ingrained from years of volleyball practice to spot changes in behaviour and appearance. Hair tends to be an indicator of personality, and somehow everyone Tsukishima knows has pretty distinctive, zany hair which is even more conspicuous after a night of debauchery.

**Kuroo Tetsurou**

Falling into bed with Kuroo was inevitable, years long coming, and it was the right amount of sexy, awkwardly fumbling of getting introduced to each other so intimately, and laughing. The sex was great, their attraction magnetic, but a small part of Tsukishima had to admit he was looking forward to the secret behind that famous rooster hair… because surely, that can’t be found in nature.

So the next morning, Tsukishima awoke to pillows where Kuroo’s face was supposed to be. No, wait, buried underneath the pillow was Kuroo, sound asleep.

 _Where did even get the extra pillow from?!_ Tsukishima wondered idly, turning over to check his phone. 7:38AM. He doesn't have any 8AM classes, he can sleep in for an hour longer. And surely, Kuroo-san wouldn’t sleep over at someone else’s place if he had morning classes.

No. Kuroo-san absolutely _would._

Tsukishima turned over to poke at Kuroo’s bare chest, his perfectly chiseled chest in sharp little jabs and the tenacity of a younger brother until Kuroo groaned and woke up, moving the pillow from his face.

“Poli Sci at 8.” Tsukishima informed him smugly, and watched as Kuroo’s face changed from sleepiness to smiling at Tsukishima to his words registering and panic settling as he bolted from the bed, scrambling to get his jeans and a litany of, ‘fuck, fuck, fuck.’ Tsukishima has heard Professor Yu can be super anal about attendance, even more anal than they were last night.

Kuroo’s hair was truly a sight to behold, Tsukishima considered putting his glasses on to get an HD look, because… wow. Sticking up in all directions, truly the bedhead of all bedheads, and probably wasn’t helped by all the tugging and other proclivities of last night. A true feat of nature, undefeated by gravity.

 _“There are more things in heaven and Earth, Hotaru, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”_ Kuroo had whispered to him last night, because he’s a giant nerd and enjoyed calling Tsukishima a firefly, who had rolled his eyes.

He was currently running his fingers through his hair to get it to some semblance of respectability, though it didn’t help at all. Tsukishima watched from his very warm, very inviting bed.  
“Fuck, Tsukki, you shouldn’t be allowed to look like that.” Kuroo said hoarsely, and Tsukishima reminded himself he’s had sex with the man, it’s ridiculous to blush now and scoffs instead.

“So, uh. Let’s do this again, I mean if you want to.” Kuroo stumbled at the door of his room, awkwardly. Kuroo gets a reputation for being a bad boy player, especially with that hair, but he’s really a giant snarky nerd and Tsukishima doesn’t want to admit it, but the giant snarky nerd who talks about the benefits of Omega-3 fish oil really gets to him more than the bad boy image.

“Text me after class and I’ll think about it.”

 **Nekoma Captain:** people said my hair’s worse today. (-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩__-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩) [delivered: 10:05AM  
**[Nekoma Captain has sent a photo]**  
**Nekoma Captain:** will you take responsibility by going out to dinner with me?

**Yamaguchi Tadashi**

Yamaguchi didn’t have to say anything. He entered their apartment early in the morning, pretty innocuously, and Tsukishima was finishing his paper on the couch. He looked up to greet him, and noticed Yamaguchi’s single curl that stays up no matter what lying pliantly flat. What activity of laying on your back for hours after returning in last night’s clothes would lead to that strand not at its usual perky spot? Easy enough dedication. Honestly, good for him.

“Good morning.” Tsukishima greeted, emitting an aura of _I know what you did that last night._

Yamaguchi, who was well versed at reading Tsukishima, looked sheepish and blushed, burst into a scandalized cry of, _“Tsukki! ”_

As if called out by Tsukishima's perception, Yamaguchi's singular strand sprung back up.

**Akaashi Keiji**

The most obvious tell is that he’s more willing to put up with Bokuto-san’s plans. But Tsukishima associates his hair with being wet, because Akaashi always hits the showers afterwards. Not to imply he’s not clean before, rather Akaashi has a pretty tight schedule with his thesis and the sub editor internship at the publishing company, where he’s eyeing the literary magazine. And not to mention, juggling multiple boyfriends. So rather, the post orgasm shower is kind of work reset for him.

Akaashi stepped out of the bathroom, fully dressed and toweling his hair. Wet strands fell over eyes and spiky inkjet black hair glistening with water droplets. God, he always looks and smells so good. Tsukishima tried not to inhale in the sandalwood when Akaashi stepped closer to where Tsukishima’s sitting on the bed to kiss him. “I’m gonna work for a few hours, help yourself.” Akaashi let him know, pointing to his desk.

If it were Bokuto or Kuroo even, Akaashi would shoo them out to work but he lets Tsukishima stay, who keeps his headphones on and gets his reading done in silence. Akaashi thinks of him as lingering around like a cat, and indulges in him by stocking the fridge with the strawberry pastry he likes.

“Bokuto-san asked if you wanna join us and play volleyball on the weekend.” Tsukishima informed him. Akaashi’s in a really good mood, the shower making him feel refreshed and the thrum of their previous activities smoothing the edges of a looming 8 hour workload. Even looking at Tsukishima, in his cardigan, curled on his bed elongated limbs tucked in to be as small as possible endeared to Akaashi. Ah, Koutarou has the best ideas, they all hadn’t met up in a while. He shined the brightest when they’re all together, especially if they’re all engaging in favourite sport (no, not _that;_ Volleyball).

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Akaashi smiled, absentmindedly stroking Tsukishima’s hair. Tsukishima raised an eyebrow at Akaashi, who had two all-nighters worth of work due before the weekend. “After the game, we can hit the showers together.” Akaashi’s pupils darkened, and his thumb stroked Tsukishima’s cheek, who gulped before looking down at his phone to text an affirmative to Bokuto and Kuroo in the group chat.

Post-sex Akaashi Keiji was gorgeous in his wet, freshly showered spiky hair in all directions, went along with Bokuto’s plans easily, and was absolutely _insatiable._

**Hinata Shouyou**

Hinata has never had sex. Next.

~~**Kageyama Tobio** ~~ **Oikawa Tooru**

It’s Yamaguchi’s fault, who had roped Tsukishima in with false promises of cheaper rent, shorter commute, and _getting our own apartment, Tsukki !_ that Tsukishima was stuck being roommates with his fellow sophomore years on the volleyball team, Yamaguchi, Hinata, Kageyama. As if they already don’t see enough of each other at practice.

Tsukishima finished two midterm exams and a group project he had to do more than half by himself, when he was picking at his tamako kake gohan (Kuroo had been annoyingly adamant about Tsukishima not skipping breakfast, and Bokuto wasn’t subtle about ‘impromptu’ meal dates). Kageyama’s door opened, which was enough to spoil Tsukishima’s mood but hey the guy lives here, but to his surprise Oikawa Tooru walked out.

Oikawa Tooru, as in The Great King, Aoba Johsai’s captain and their rival Oikawa Tooru walked out in shorts and a Karasuno jersey, strutted to the kitchen like he owned the place and walked out with milk bread in hand.

“Oikawa-san.” Tsukishima greeted, his exhaustion hiding his surprise in a monotone voice.

“Karasuno’s smartypants glasses-kun!” Oikawa is way too chipper than anyone should be this early in the morning. “Don’t mind me, just grabbing carbs for round two.” What’s surprising isn’t even the King and the Great King got together (kingcest?), rather the hot pink hair rollers on Oikawa’s bangs.

“It’s Tsukishima. And TMI. I take it your curls aren’t natural then?” A sly dig, the type Tsukishima excelled at. He was pretty good at feints too. 

Oikawa actually swivels at that, gesturing with his hands, offended. “You thought effortlessly beautiful hair like this just _happens?_ Tobio-chan’s little friends are so cute.” He’s both smug and patronizing as he walked back inside and Tsukishima stewed a bit on being referred to as Kageyama’s ‘friend.’ That’s it, he’s moving out, dirt cheap rent be damned.

A few hours later, during the entirety of which Tsukishima had his headphones on and refused to move from the couch because it’s his free day off, damn it, Kageyama walked out.

“I hope it doesn’t need to be said, but this doesn’t mean we’re going easy on Seijoh.” Tsukishima drawled out in provocation as Kageyama got a glass of milk. Oikawa's comment about round two came to mind and Tsukishima cringed to himself. 

“Course not.” Kageyama turned at Tsukishima’s words, his gaze sharper. “Fukurodani too.”

There’s fewer joys in Tsukishima’s life that rival blocking one of Fukurodani’s ace’s spikes. He went back to his playlist, and Kageyama headed back to his room, unbeknownst to the other they both had matching menacing grins at the thought of defeating Aoba Johsai and Fukurodani.

Kageyama was still the same terrible personality King, with a one track mind on volleyball, and his hair was unchanged. No, it looked even flatter somehow?

**Shimizu Kiyoko**

Tsukishima actually respected Shimizu-senpai too much to analyse her leaving Tanaka-san’s apartment next door.

**Tanaka Ryunosuke**

He is bald.

And his scream of joy and disbelief after Kiyoko-san left could be heard in the entire apartment block. Legend says all the way from an exchange student in Hawaii could be heard a resounding, “Good job, Ryu!” in the voice of one Nishinoya Yuu.

**Bokuto Koutarou**

One would presume Bokuto with his larger than life disposition, his elation after a successful match would be similar to how he is post sex, but they would be wrong. Everything about Bokuto is certainly big, his presence, his hair, his heart, and his… you get the picture.

But his normally spiked back silver hair free from its gelled grip, falls over his face during their nightly (and occasionally morning, and locker room) activities, making him look almost delicate. It certainly makes him look softer when he’s over Tsukishima, stray strands framing his face as darkened amber eyes that match his but reflect so differently; confident, determined, victorious.

The contrast, however, is afterwards. One would assume he’s just as elated as winning a match after a strenuous rally. Instead he’s slumped, eyes downcast matching his hair, and pouting. Bokuto has a being of so expressive, even without articulating it, but just cause Tsukishima can see it coming doesn’t mean he’s perfectly equipped to deal with it -- he’s not Akaashi-san, after all, and the very reason can make Bokuto Koutarou exhilarating, unpredictable, and so _much._ Huh, guess Tsukishima’s not that great with words either.

“What’s wrong?” Tsukishima inquired as he put his shorts back on. They had gone twice(!), and results were more than satisfactory, yet the sigh Bokuto-san let out was akin to not seeing a dig instead of a spike. “Thought you had a good time.” Tsukishima’s knees ensured that.

“I did,” Bokuto Koutarou, one of the representatives of the Monster Generation, a Japan national player and the intimidating ace, _pouted_ at him. It’s kind of cute. He blew at a stray strand of hair that fell over his eyes, that wouldn’t rise back up. “But that means it’s over.”

“Yes, that is what happens when things end.” Tsukishima informed him matter-of-factly, zipping up Kuroo’s jacket that fits him like a glove, and then Bokuto’s larger jacket that dwarfs him.

“So I can’t be inside Tsukki anymore.” Bokuto said, in a truly despairing voice. Tsukishima choked. _You can't just say that!_ He said it with a completely straight face too, Bokuto can just _do_ that, say what’s on his mind no matter what it may be. Tsukishima could feel his blush spreading from cheek to ear from cheek to ear.

Tsukishima made the mistake of looking at the puppy dog eyed Bokuto, and his brain immediately filled in a series of auto-complete sentences complementing what Bokuto said, each filthier than the last. “I have class.” Tsukishima says abruptly before Bokuto can actually open his mouth and left in a hurry, Bokuto and his hair flopped downwards, which would both pick up in a few minutes when he’d head to the gym with Kuroo.

**Yachi Hitoka**

This one, technically, Tsukishima didn’t figure out. It’s pretty commonplace to have people over in their apartment because Hinata knows a thousand people and invites them over to play Mario Kart. Usually, it’s Kenma-san, who keeps to himself so Tsukishima doesn’t mind. Occasionally, it’s other team’s members and Tsukishima has to consider how he feels about Maya Atsumu or Bokuto Koutarou in his kitchen. (Usually a desire to say something snarky and cutting, and no, no boyfriend privileges when it comes to rivals.)

However, another familiar figure who is around is Yachi Hitoka. She did start out as Hinata’s friend, and was way too socially anxious to function, but slowly became an indispensable part of their freshman friend group (as much as Tsukishima loathes to admit he’s in the same friend group as Kageyama and Hinata.)

When Tsukishima entered the door for Yachi-san to enter, she seemed her normal, jumpy self. Yamaguchi was at the library and the apartment was too quiet for Hinata to be in. Their drinking plans are usually on the weekend.

“Rough night?” Tsukishima asked casually. Yachi’s a marketing major, and had sold her soul eying for advertising companies, while working part-time. She frequented all-nighters and often got too invested in her projects to take care of her health, like the time she took it upon herself to design Karasuno’s flyers and other promotional materials as a bid for fundraising. She looked perfectly fine and put together, hair in the neat little bow, if a little tired. Tsukishima handed her an electrolyte sports drink.

“Oh my god! You can totally tell, right? Ahhh! I’m such a mess, and you’ve spotted my walk of shame. As expected from the observant Tsukishima-kun.” Yachi kept speaking but Tsukishima was caught a little off guard to follow. _This_ is her walk of shame? She looks ready for a job interview! As expected of the prepared Yachi-san.

“So I said, ‘I have to tutor Hinata-kun!’ and I ran out because if I stayed any longer I would’ve either said, ‘thank you for the best orgasm of my life,’ or ‘marry me?’ but now she must think I’m too weird and not text me back and no one’s ever gonna love me and I’ll die alone!” Tsukishima tuned back in to hear the tail end of that.

“You’re loveable, Yachi-san.” He said automatically, a little out of his depth on how to deal with this bullet train of thought; this is more Yamaguchi’s area of expertise. He sorely missed the days Yachi was too intimidated to talk to any of the volleyball team members. But now that she’s let her guard down around them, Tsukishima had to bear party to Yachi’s bouts of insecurity about her boobs, or her pretty complicated dating life (though Tsukishima’s not one to talk, with a few too many boyfriends himself).

“I knew I could count on you, Tsukishima-kun!”

So the unlikely duo spend the afternoon figuring out which cute animal gif best represented ‘I would love to see you again, I’m sorry for running away after hooking up, I could write a soliloquy about your collarbones’ but also casual and cool.

Tsukishima will never know this, but Yachi thought it was so obvious he had figured it out cause she had ran out in such a disheveled panic that she had parted her hair on the right side instead of left.

* * *


	2. the interview

**Q:** _How would you distinguish Tsukishima Kei’s post-sex mood and bed hair?_

Kageyama Tobio: Dunno. Didn’t notice.

Hinata Shouyou: Tsukishima has sex?! Why does he act like he’s got a stick up his butt all the time!

Kageyama Tobio: He’s definitely got something up his ass all right. (snickers)

Hinata Shouyou: Kageyama! Why you gotta say it so vulgar? Gross!

Tanaka Ryuunosuke: Eh?! Three boyfriends?! Tsukishima, you fox!

~~The ghost of Nishinoya Yuu: Three?! Good job, Tsukki! Sabotage Nekoma and Fukurondani from the inside! Yeah!~~

Oikawa Tooru: Karasuno's smartypants sure is smart, hmm? Well, I prefer the stupid type like Tobio-chan anyways!

Yamaguchi Tadashi: Hah… Tsukki’s really obvious when he’s in a good mood. Because he’s tired but he’s not complaining about volleyball practice so it must be… Anyways! He smiles more too! (sheepish smile)

Yachi Hitoka: Tsukishima-kun is very observant, so it’s usually not discernible. It’s really embarrassing but this one time he totally caught me… (continues for 10 minutes)

Akaashi Keiji: Kei gets cold easily, so afterwards he likes to wear our jackets to warm up. Down for cuddles too. (matter of factly)

Bokuto Koutarou: … (slumped down)

Akaashi Keiji: Bokuto-san?

Bokuto Koutarou: No fair! Tsukki doesn’t stay over long enough for me to know. He always leaves immediately afterwards! Is it something I did? (pouting)

Akaashi Keiji: No, don’t slump in the middle of an interview. I see… Well, have you considered…

Bokuto Koutarou: ?

Akaashi Keiji: that perhaps Kei feels too overwhelmed, and if he’d be too tempted for another round if he didn’t leave immediately?

Bokuto Koutarou: Wait… so that means I’m TOO good at sex?! Hey, hey, hey! Poor Tsukki! (perked up)

Kuroo Tetsurou: He’s so pretty. Not that he’s not pretty all the time. He’s all flushed and oversensitive, and when I touch his (censored to keep the current rating Teen and Up Audiences) 

Shimizu Kiyoko: His curls are out of place and windswept.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you liked any of that, please let me know lolol. personally i found it super fun to write
> 
> im also on twitter @loverofthequeen


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